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Short Funny Poems

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Finding That Special Someone

One Day My Prince Will Come

Remember all you maidens,

From the Isle of Dogs.

Before you find a prince,

You must kiss a lot of frogs.

Are You Out There?

I've looked at Wal-Mart

And Kroger too

But yet I've not even found

A glimpse of you.

I look in every car

That passes down the road

I kissed every frog

And even a horny toad

I am beginning to think

That maybe I'll be alone

Forever and ever

‘Cause all the good ones are gone!

Blinding Love

Am I Senile?

I don't see your need

To scrub every single bathroom tile

I scratch my head each time

Seeing the amount of groceries you stockpile

I wish I could just change

That annoying ring tone on your mobile

I can't help but think

You have such terrible dressing style

I don't know how

We can fall in love being so different in profile

I just have to say

This must be real love

Unless I have gone senile!

Love is Blind

I must be out of my mind

Finding you the most beautiful of all mankind

I have choices, myself I remind

And yet all other dates I simply declined

Your faults a long list they lined

But surprisingly no revulsion in me I can find

You're not the ideal mate I have defined

No wonder people always say love is blind!

The First Time We Met

Meeting on the Net

The first time I saw your text

With your screen name in bold

Knew you were the person

In which I wanted to grow old

It was love at first type

That day surfing the net

Every time I crank up the laptop

I think of the day we first met.

Falling for the Bag Boy

The day I saw you squeeze the fruit

In the grocery store aisle

I knew you were the one

Oh how you shopped in style.

Your eyes glistened from the scanner

As I put your items in

Then I loaded up your car

And you handed me a ten.

Husbands

Training You

When I first got you

Nothing did you know

I had to start from the beginning

And watch you grow

It took time for the molding

But now it seems to be

You are the perfect man

After training from me.

I Love You Anyway

You leave up the seat

And always have smelly feet

You never clean the dishes

Or grant me elaborate wishes

But for now, you'll do

Until I find the perfect number two!

Is Your Love Real?

I Love You as Much

I love you as much

As a huge chocolate bar

I love you as much

As a new sports car

I love you as much

As a world of money

I love you as much

As bees love honey

I love you as much

And even more you see

For all of the love

That you give to me!

Do I Love You?

How much do I love you?

You always want to know.

You worry that some day

I just will up and go.

But that is such a silly thought

For you to have in your head

You see I could never find another

As good as you in bed!

Growing Old Together

When I Am Old

What will you think

When my hair is all gray?

And my false teeth giggle

When I have something to say?

Will you love my wrinkled skin?

And the smell of Ben Gay?

Will you still love me?

When I am too old to play?

I Will Always Be There

I will there to feed you

If you need some help

I will hold your hand

To give a reassuring step.

I will be your eyes

If you cannot see

I will bring you the potty chair

When you've got to pee.

Even when we are old

My eyes will never roam.

I will love far after

I put you in a home!