Ever heard of the importance of the 5 languages of love to make your relationship with your partner sparkle? At the heart of the five love languages concept is the ability to make your partner's heart sing.
You wouldn’t speak French to a Chinese man or order pizza at a Thai restaurant. Then why do we have so much miscommunication in our relationships? In life, we usually try to please other people as best we can, but often in relationships we love our partner how we want them to love us and not the way they actually need to be loved. This is why it is important for you as a couple to understand the 5 languages of love.
The truth be told, we all want to be loved - whichever way it might be. However, when receiving the wrong type of love we can often start to feel empty and unwanted. The best way to know if you are giving your partner the right type of love is simply to ask. It might save you a lot of time and effort cooking exotic meals if your partner for instance needs words of affection in order to feel loved.
Miscommunication or lack of it is what causes conflict to arise in intimate relationships. This is why the golden rule in any relationship is to be kind and humble. Another part of the golden rule is to respect your partner and not to judge them based on your own expectations. We are all individuals with different personalities and have gone through life experiencing different aspects of life.
This is where the 5 languages of love come into play. Dr. Gary Chapman is an American marriage counsellor who has described and clarified these differences in a very interesting and useful way. In his book The Five Love Languages, he reveals the theory that there are five key ways of showing love and that every one of us has a preference for what makes us feel most loved. Understanding love languages leads to the ability to communicate with your partner in a non-judgemental way.
·Quality time: For a person who speaks this language, things like eye contact, deep and meaningful conversations and shared activities are needed to feel loved. Bonding time with their partner is what is most important to them.
· Receiving gifts: When you are with a partner who love little gifts and surprises, this is precisely what you will get. You will constantly be showered with new clothes, flowers or even chocolates. This is how they want to be loved, so this is exactly what they do for their partners. Giving the gift of self is also an important symbol of love to these people.
· Words of affection: This works by giving your partner constant compliments, sweet love notes and lots of encouragement. This is important because those who speak this language are sensitive people and don’t take criticism as well as others. They may illustrate their frustrations by using sharp words or even by harassing you.
· Physical touch: If this is the language of your partner they will be very affectionate or, as some like to call it, touchy-feely. Sex to them means much more than just an orgasm - it is a way to connect. If you deny someone who speaks this love language sex, they may feel unloved.
· Acts of service: Some people find pleasure in doing things for others. This may mean that they will feel loved when their partners help out with chores or doing things for them. However, acts of service should be done out of love, not obligation.
So which of the 5 languages of love do you speak and, just as importantly, which one does your partner speak?
Don't make assumptions here - make sure to ask them directly and talk about the different options. Once your love languages have been established, you need to keep communication lines open on what it means to both of you as individuals and in your relationship.
If you love your partner using the right language, they will be happy and want to love you back. Love is deliciously contagious.
Awaken to Love is one of those rare treasures that you want to return to again and again and again. The author shares generously about her own relationship challenges and her work with clients as a relationship therapist, and provides practical teachings and exercises that can be implemented immediately to transcend pain, heal heartbreak and transform an intimate relationship from a place of disconnection and conflict into a haven of love. This sounds like a big promise, but it is fulfilled in the explanation of how relationship is essentially a spiritual journey.
Relationships aren't meant to be 'perfect'. The author explains how relationships challenge you, shape you and help you grow. The book provides excellent guidance on how to love yourself first, release old patterns and manage intense emotions, as well as how to deal with conflict, practice forgiveness, celebrate passion, and actualise the true meaning of love.
A highlight is the author's 'Love Illuminations' that introduce each chapter. For example,
'As challenging as they are, love relationships are part of the moving, breathing, unfolding cycle of life. Just like the seasons, relationships change. If you expect it to be sunny every day, you will be disappointed. If you resist the wind and the rain, you will be frustrated. The very nature of love is dynamic. Nothing can stay alive and vibrant without dying and being reborn occasionally. The challenge is to embrace change because it also holds the gift. Without change there is no growth. Without growth, love dies.'
This book should be required reading for all couples who want to work towards having happy, soulful and fulfilling relationships. ~ Willow Johnson
If you enjoyed my page on the 5 languages of love, feel free to visit the following pages too:
Once you know your love language and that of your partner, make sure to speak it... often! xo
From Awaken to Love....
"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you toyour own attention so you can change your life."
~ Elizabeth Gilbert ~
Read, reflect and be inspired. If you find something of value on our 5 languages of love page, enjoy its gifts and please pass it on to your friends.
Amazon Best-selling Author
First Prize Winner:
"most impressive, most marketable title..."
~ Chosen by Hay House Team, including President and CEO Reid Tracy
Mia Rose with Deepak Chopra at the Hay House Writer's Workshop, Melbourne 2013.
"Dr. Mia has created a compelling work that explores loving relationships in a whole new light. She leads the reader to explore the most tender and intimate aspects of loving relationships using her mastery as a professional therapist with a twist - she shares from her heart! The power, warmth and beauty of her personal experience connect with the reader in ways most books on relationships never will!" ~ Mark E. Hundley, Licensed Professional Counselor and Author of Awaken to Good Mourning.
"Mia Rose is a modern day master in the art of LOVE and personal relationships. Her compelling story of her own transformation and the wisdom she shares in Awaken to Love is food for the soul and wisdom for anyone who has ever been in love." ~ Ariaa Jaeger, Spiritual Life Strategist, Philosopher, Author of Ariaaisms ~ Spiritual Food for the Soul, AriaaQuotes and The Book of Ariaa