Love Poetry: The pain of loving you...

by Zinhle Zulu
(Vaal Triangle)

'If only I could unlove you...
I would save myself the discomfort and pain of grieving over you.
In my mind I would travel to the past, deny my feelings for you, turn you away.

If only I could unlove you...
I would erase all memories once created by you & I,
remove all your pictures from the gallery of my eyes.

I would unspell that four letter word from L.O.V.E to E.V.O.L,
add a V.E, turn it to E.V.O.L.V.E,
evolve.
And evolve this love to something else unique, bring it all back to me.

I would save myself the heartache and grief,
do take back your love, you thief
who stole my time, my patience, my kindness, my loyalty, my commitment,
you who gave me moments of merriment

If only I could unlove you.
I would uncry my lonely tears from all the lonely nights when it hit me...
That we would never be the same again,
That we would never hold hands again,
That we no more would share fiery kisses,
That we, more you, would find no love for me no more,
That there would be no 'Happily-Ever-After, just 'Happily-Before'.
That we - would now be individuals, the bondness of oneness will now be broken,
That I would have to carry this token
engraved with bold heartbreak for all to see
that I am a victim amongst the many who had fallen prey to the vicious cycle of the four letter word,
I dare not mention it by name, for it could attack me again,
and I would have no power over it in my now vulnerable state.

If only I could unlove you as easily as I can unstitch a seam I would be happy.
There would be no dwelling upon all the things that made us WE.
I would not walk with my head in the sand,
I would not walk with my heart in my hands,
I would not walk with drooping shoulders,
instead get bolder with every action of undoing YOU & ME,
unstitching our past...
Stitch by Stitch,
Bit by Bit,
Memory by Memory,
Kiss by Kiss,
Passion by Passion.
Then the garment of love will be nothing but material without the thread holding it together,
awaiting a tailor to put back the pieces together...

But until then, I just have to continue loving you...
I am stitching back the pieces of our past, the pieces of the love garment as they dilapidating.

Until then, I shall keep loving you
because I
cannot
unlove
YOU.'

See Love Poetry Contest