Love Life and Laughter

I Love my Life

© Yuri Arcurs | Dreamstime.com

While I'm deeply suspicious of anything that looks, sounds or smells like a 'quick fix', I nevertheless find three words very helpful for people who feel dissatisfied with their life: do something different.

If you're consistently more unhappy than happy, please give these words some thought. After all, if nothing changes - guess what? - nothing changes. We all have to take responsibility to be the creators of our own change. And the good news is that it's really not that difficult to tune into the simple moments of love life and laughter.

As a psychologist, I talk to people about happiness and unhappiness all the time. When people consult me, they usually start off by telling me all about their unhappy lives, but eventually we get to a space where I ask what makes them happy.

The answers always surprise us both. Here are a few from my case notes:

'Really?'
'Lying in the grass makes you happy?'
'Yes.'
'So why not do more of it?'

or,

'Really?'
'Dreaming of an island holiday makes you happy?'
'Profoundly.'
'So you don't even have to be on the island to be happy?'
'Nope. I can just transport myself there in my imagination and feel a sense of bliss.'
'Oh. So why not do more of it?'

It reminds me of the words of Maggie Hamilton, author of What's happening to our girls? She says, 'We spend so much time chasing happiness that it can lose its impact. True happiness isn't manufactured; it just happens. It often catches us during daily life; it's impromptu, magical, perfectly timed. Sudden bursts of happiness reach out to us in the grittiness of life - while we're busy. We see it in a thousand small ways - in the kindness of strangers, the first drops of rain after drought, in the love of those who believe in us.'

Right back to the early philosophers like Aristotle, people have been curious about the people who seem happy and what makes them so. It's no surprise so many books have emerged about the pursuit of happiness.

According to Matthieu Ricard, Buddhist monk and author of the best-selling book, Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life's most Important Skill, part of the problem is that we tend to confuse happiness with intense, momentary pleasures. These pleasures are not only transitory, they are also usually dependent on outside conditions, such as the approval of others or material gain. When we make our well-being reliant on something that we have limited control over, we become vulnerable to suffering and a feeling that life has no meaning or isn't worth living.

Genuine happiness does not rely on external circumstances. It's a deep sense of fulfilment that pervades all emotional states and gives us the resources to deal with the challenges of life.

In short, happiness is a choice; it's a celebration of love, life and laughter. It's in our ability to notice and appreciate the moments that enrich our lives as they happen - and to be grateful for them.

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