I choked

by Rachael
(california)

Reader Post: 'Aquarius and Sagittarius, a Fiercesome thing to behold, touch and go for years, Sagittarius was too old and I so young but i knew every time I looked into his eyes someday he would hold me.

I did not know then that he too knew some day he would make me his. I was 22 loading groceries into my car when the four door Ford pulled into the parking lot, as I pulled out he pulled in hanging out his window with a confident grin upon his face. It had been five years since I saw him last.

I parked gave him a hug and smile then left, knowing he was watching me walk away in awe. I had the confidence of a super model knowing each move I made was one to remember.

I waited a week before I called him, he needed rolling papers and was on house arrest so could not leave to get them. I loaded my eight month old son and headed to the gas station. Not knowing anything about which papers to get I bought one of each... when I arived with one of each kind of paper he chuckled in aproval, invited me in where I could nurse my son and get warm. The flirty atmosphere was tolorable and fun. The words were thrown lightly about with hidden meaning and deeper intensions that only the two of us could understand.

So quickly I became pregnant, emotional and sick. Not much fun to be around anymore, no suprise when he moved another woman in, one who didn't take care of her own kids because she liked to have fun and run about, always leaving her children with her parents and sister. She was deep into alcohol and drugs, it hurt the most because I am a good mother and I put my children before him I felt like he was trying to punish me for it.

My heart at times would hurt so bad I could hardly breathe and would fall to the floor in tears. Not to mention how he denied our baby until the day he was born. Only because he looks just like him did he accept that he was his child.

Two years later and in and out of prison still I wait for him, hoping maybe the mental lightness will return. Our beautiful son is paying for my inability to move on by not having a male figure other than my own father. I cannot see myself with any other man at this point so I wait. I cannot enter a relationship while still in love with a Sagittarius, it's just not fair to the other man. Sagittarius would see me happy with him and come back to protect his property. Being in love I run back to his arms every time. Stupid Girl. But you can't help who you love. :)'