Have you loved and lost? Healing a broken heart is never easy but it is certainly possible... especially when you view loss in a larger perspective.
In nature, loss is an integral part of creation. The rose blossoms, the bud is lost; the day begins, the night ends; summer dies to give way to winter. Loss sets the stage for re-creation. This is true in human life too.
The hardest thing about healing a broken heart is to move out of denial into acceptance of loss. When you surrender to loss you pave the way for healing.
I love the way Peter A. McWilliams describes the liberation that comes from this process in the following poem about divine healing:
to give you up
what a bell of freedom
that rings within me
no more waiting for
that never come.
no more creative energy
in letters never mailed.
and, after a while,
no more insomnia.
no more insanity.
some more happiness.
some more life.
all it took was giving you up.
and that took quite a bit.
Wisdom teaches us that it is 'holding on' that holds us back from joy and inner freedom. Still, we often catch ourselves clutching at life as if we could control it - as if we could escape loss.
It's almost impossible to imagine love without attachment, yet Buddhist teacher Joseph Goldstein compares the pain of 'clinging' to mental 'rope burn.' Goldstein says that unless we distinguish attachment from love, we create pain for ourselves and others in the name of love.
When we recognize these patterns of fear and heartache, we can learn to let them go in order to bring more happiness into our lives. It doesn't mean that we won't feel the pain of heartbreak, it just means that we declare ourselves willing to surrender, to let go.
Healing a broken heart is a journey - a difficult one. We move from barely surviving to healing to growing. As Peter McWilliams describes it:
find someone new.
get over you.
get you back.
As we survive each day and remind ourselves of the impermanent nature of life without resisting it, we give ourselves a wonderful gift. It's called freedom.
Read, reflect and be inspired. If you find something of value on our Tears and Healing page, enjoy its gifts and please do me a favour and share it, tweet it and link to it.
'Dr. Mia has created a compelling work that explores loving relationships in a whole new light. She leads the reader to explore the most tender and intimate aspects of loving relationships using her mastery as a professional therapist with a twist - she shares from her heart! The power, warmth and beauty of her personal experience connect with the reader in ways most books on relationships never will!'
~ Mark E. Hundley, Licensed Professional Counselor and Author of Awaken to Good Mourning.
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~ Ariaa Jaeger, Spiritual Life Strategist, Philosopher, Author of Ariaaisms ~ Spiritual Food for the Soul, AriaaQuotes and The Book of Ariaa
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