Getting Over a Broken Heart


Need help getting over a broken heart?



Blue Hearts

Singing the Broken Heart Blues?

Everyone who has enjoyed the euphoria of a beautiful, brand new relationship would probably sooner or later have to endure the torturous pain of a broken heart if the relationship comes to an end.

The way the emotional and psychological ache can even manifest itself physically often comes as a shock, but because there is no easy remedy for this condition, no medicine to take or bandage to apply, a person going through a break-up can easily feel lost and desperate. Thankfully, even though there is no sure-fire cure for getting over a broken heart, there are some healthy ways to mitigate the pain and encourage the healing process until time brings relief.

Tips for Healing a Broken Heart

First, you have to realize that this time needs to be about you. How your ex feels or what your friends think or what your family is going to say cannot dictate your choices or control how you spend your time. A painful break-up is also a time to close the door on a chapter of your life. Start the next chapter with a newfound resolve to take care of your emotional and psychological needs before anyone else's. Often in a relationship, and almost always during a break-up, we tend to get caught up in what the other person is feeling, trying to decipher their motives, wanting them to see things our way, and wondering why we just can't see things theirs. Stop. Take a deep breath. Do what's best for you.

Secondly, go easy on yourself. Now is not the time to set goals or limits. In the midst of heartbreak, it is normal to try and figure out what is wrong with ourselves and try to fix it, or to establish a particular time in the future by which we should be launching a new relationship, or at least dating again. Plans made in the heat of emotion like this are generally ill-advised and are always hard to attain, leaving us feeling even more dejected and unsure of ourselves because we feel as if we've failed when they don't pan out. The only goal when getting over a broken heart is to get back to being the person you used to be.

Now that you are in the right frame of mind, it's safe to start taking action. Remember, getting through a break-up is not possible if you wallow in it. This grief should be a journey, never the destination, so make sure you engage in the process. Remove the physical signs of your ex from your home. This shouldn't necessarily be done in anger or in a way you may regret in the future, but filling a box with photos, old t-shirts, and that bear from the county fair can definitely jump start the healing process. As you revamp your home, revamp your mindset. Saying a mantra as you engage in this activity can also help. Try "I am taking back my life for me."

Often during a relationship, we give up so many things we once loved to do. We stop going out with our friends as much, or we stop seeing certain kinds of movies because our ex wasn't interested. Maybe you used to have a hobby but haven't even thought about it in months, or years, because your free time was always wrapped up in entertaining, or being entertained by, the ex. Now is a great time to make a list of all these things- a list of things you will get to do now that the relationship is over. Call it your "Thankful List" and start it with something affirming and positive, such as "I am thankful that I will now have time to....". You may not feel thankful when you start, but as the list grows, the negative thoughts will necessarily fade away.

Finally, a simple thing like exercise might be your most important tool. Not only will the endorphins caused by exercising help bring up your mood chemically, but the extra boost of self-confidence that comes from getting in shape might be the extra push we need to start participating in the world again. And it doesn't have to be something elaborate and time-consuming. Start small. Do five crunches every time you find yourself wallowing in your sorrow. Do five jumping jacks every time you're about to text your ex. Anticipate the challenges that will come with the process of getting over a broken heart and be ready to beat them and take your life back.

Related Posts

* More on Healing a Broken Heart

* Healing with Color

* Holistic Healing


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