Break Up Pain
Break up pain is hard to endure, but you can have a happy ending. First, you have to make sure you know what you really want.
From Break Up to Make Up
Whether you had a niggling feeling that your relationship was in trouble or it has sucker-punched you in the stomach, love stories end. It often feels like the end of the world, because not only do break-ups bring up past rejections, they also make you feel worthless and powerless.
What you have to work out, is whether your relationship is worth saving. If it is, you owe it to yourself to at least give it a try.
When trying to win a loved one back, there are right ways to go about it and ways that will only serve to drive your loved one further away. If you're desperate and hurting, chances are that you're going about it in all the wrong ways.
For step by step help to go from break up to make up, Click Here!
There's no doubt that breaking up is complicated and painful. There's no easy way out of a relationship when you've shared yourself body, heart and soul with someone special in your life. Bad endings are particularly destructive and can chip away at your self-image and ability to trust your own instincts and intuition. You also lose your trust in love.
Our brains are wired for bonding, not endings. Feeling rejected is as threatening to our wellbeing as touching a hotplate. Still, sometimes letting go is better than holding on. If you know deep inside that the relationship is not worth saving, it's best to set your sights on closure.
You can't change your psychological reactions to a break-up, but you can control the way the break-up is conducted (at least from your side). The more respectful and kind you are towards your partner during the breaking up process, the better the chances that you will remain emotionally intact and the better your chances to heal.
Breaking Up Tips
1. Put yourself in your partner's shoes
Reflect on the fact that both of you are dealing with loss and change ~ and both of you are under extreme stress. When dealing with your partner, ask yourself, 'Is this how I would like to be treated?' Spend some time thinking about how you can move on gracefully. If you're basically a compassionate and kind person, there's no reason to stop acting that way because you're hurting. There is no greater test for integrity than the way you act during a break up.
2. Take responsibility for your words and actions
Don't manipulate your partner to make things easier on yourself. Stonewalling, withdrawing from communication and abusive behaviours create a sense of distortion that will undermine both your self-esteem and your partner's. If this really is the end, try to act in a way that won't cripple either of you in future relationships.
3. Express yourself calmly and truthfully
Stay honest and true to yourself. You may want to try and hide how hurt you're feeling to save face, but it's okay to let your partner know that you're sad and disappointed. By communicating in an authentic way, you're conveying the message that you value the positive experiences you've shared. Acknowledge what didn't work, but show your gratitude for the positives that you will take with you into the future.
4. Let go, let go, let go
You may find that your reaction is to hang on with all your might, but the best thing you can do is to accept that the relationship has come to an end. There is freedom in letting go.
Consider carefully whether you want to try again or whether you should move on. If you open yourself up to your own inner wisdom, you will know the answer. And if you do decide you need help to stop a break up, visit The Magic of Making Up! It may just be your best chance to create that happy ending!
* Heal your Heart
(From Break Up Love back to How to Save your Relationship)
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Mia Rose :)